If you spend any time among Sandra Bernhard's clippings, as I have, you will learn that she is the daughter of a proctologist
and an "abstract artist," and that she has a healthy awareness of genealogy as metaphor; that her first public performance was singing "Hello, Dolly" at a bar mitzvah in Detroit; that her family moved from Flint, Michigan, to suburban Phoenix; that she once spent eight months in Israel on a kibbutz; that she left Arizona for Los Angeles at age eighteen; that, while employed as a Beverly Hills manicurist, she once dug sand from beneath the toenails of Tina Louise.
One button worn by a Democratic delegate also made a big impression: "HEY NEWT - CALL YOUR PROCTOLOGIST
Here, the bile-spewing 50 Ft Queenie venomously spits out an emasculating barrage of stinging insults and cuss-laden threats that makes her sound like the proctologist
Bob, a skilled proctologist
and founding member of AA, admitted the first alcoholic patient to the hospital.
That he has a television perched on a shelf in his modest bathroom; that he sustains himself on six-sugars tea, like a giant, jodhpured ant; and that he can glad-hand a circle of owners with all the efficiency and warmth of a Friday-afternoon proctologist
You'll find--encircling the edges of the book--enlightening clues to what lies within the 80 illustrated pages: "My first root canal," "My bedtime bottle," "My first second mortgage," "My favorite toy" (a red convertible), "My proctologist
," "My favorite reading glasses," and "My family tree" (from which you'll note a plug has been sawed).
Whipped up into an insane frenzy of multicultural glitz, she seized the moment, and decided to really let loose and share some middle-class Jewish angst, fishing for sympathy: "My father was a proctologist
and my mom was an abstract artist: that's how I view the world;" cutaways to audience members of color showing they weren't havin' any of it.
Physicians, two, a psychiatrist and a proctologist
, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr.
But, like waiting for your prostate to be examined and your proctologist
realising you were the one who'd cut him up en route to the surgery that morning, knowing what was coming didn't make it any less painful.
a female stripper (with a goatee), a proctologist
(My nametag had the slogan "If it won't come out, we'll go in and get it
Theobald is a board eligible Proctologist
and a member of the American College of Proctologists
, the American Osteopathic Association, and the American College of Osteopathic Surgical Specialists.
It was a plum assignment, but then Ted has spent the last 12 years plumbing the halls of power at City Hall with all the dedication of a proctologist
looking for a shy prostate.