Pity the insecure groom-to-be who wonders why at least five of his fiance's friends have bought him a penis extension
Why would an over-paid penis want to buy a false penis extension
when he can get himself extended for real?
If you're stupid enough to stay with him and he's still nagging, tell him you'll do it - just after showing him a video of a penis extension
operation with graphic close-ups and suggesting he does the same.
Some female colleagues were giggling at a magazine article about a guy who'd had a penis extension
, and because his name was Dave, one of them shrieked, "Oooh look, Dave's had his chopper enlarged!" I pretended not to hear, but felt so sick and demoralised I thought I was going to collapse.
They were split up, put in separate rooms and asked how they would respond if a fairy godmother offered: 1, penis extension
; 2, pectoral enlargement, or 3, an eye job.
Although he hid her birth control pills because he wanted to own her - he's the type of man that sees a son as a penis extension
- he'd never change a nappy.
The phrase "size matters", in the minds of both men and women, really means penis size, and some men in pursuit of improving their length have gone in for penis extensions
. The sad news is they don't work.
While some surgeons confessed to having been asked for ear lobe reductions, buttock implants, penis extensions
and even a forked tongue, most patients are seeking a natural look.
Or those offering cheap Viagra, penis extensions
or the chance to become a millionaire if I just send my bank account details to a struggling African ruler.
Junk emails offering cut price penis extensions
and a baffling array of drugs, for example.
The top five male procedures at HMG were penis extensions
(at a cost around pounds 3,000),followed by rhinoplasty (nose job), liposuction (costing pounds 3,540 for thechest),otoplasty (ear correction),Botox (pounds 200)and Collagen.
Women form the bulk of those seeking to improve their look, but Irish men are getting in on the act as well - with everything from fat removal, nose-jobs, ear re-shaping, non-surgical laser hair removal and yes -ouch - penis extensions
, known in the trade as a PE.