In a previous article for Coach's Corner, "Coaching from an Adult Ego State
," we presented the idea of ego states--the frames of mind out of which a person may interact with others.
An adult ego state
contains statements that are exploratory rather than judgmental, solution-oriented in an emotionally neutral tone that promotes non defensiveness.
The adult ego state is not related to a person's age.
The adult ego state problem solving was in the mid zone.
When the child ego state experiences connection and acceptance from the therapist and from the person's adult ego state, and release of the underlying shame, it brings relief from the loneliness.
The treatment technique of the "informed child" process involves informing the child ego state what his/her erroneous beliefs are, and assisting the client's adult ego state to teach the truth to that child within.
An adult ego state conveys an attitude of power equalization and collegiality.
In order to build rapport and open dialogue in a coaching conversation it is imperative that you communicate out of an adult ego state.
The Adult ego state is an aspect of the personality primarily engaged in objective data processing, not affected by archaic attitudes or beliefs left over from unresolved experiences in childhood.
After the unresolved emotions have been released and the mistaken belief corrected, the client then becomes clear to make a new decision from her adult ego state, or more precisely from her no-longer-developmentally-arrested child ego state.
This should be a red flag to the therapist who will then recognize this state of fixation and implant an adult ego state
She set clear boundaries from her adult ego state
in a powerful effort to protect the "inner child" from further abuse.